saying all those things to me

Some questions that could (be/have been/should not be) asked.

• Is this a website?
  • Yes.
  
  

• Is this on the Internet?
  • Yes.
  
  

• What is the fastest snake in the world?
  • Probably the black mamba of eastern Africa.
  
  

• What time is it?
  • Time for me to take off my watch and put it in my pocket.
  
  

• Can I have some fruit?
• No.

• Did you butter your cat?
• Yes.

• um....why?
• A woman at a dog park told me that she'd read that you could accelerate the "let's be friends" process between a cat and a new dog by letting the dog lick butter off the cat's head. The cat (if it lets the dog get close) will accept the gesture as "nurturing," and the dog thinks, "mmm....butter." I wouldn't say that we saw miraculous results, but the cat has relaxed his "personal space" limitations with the dog since the buttering and will tolerate an occasional sniff or lick.

• Am I a clever individual for knowing of and playing The Game
• No. You are a freaking moron.